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| Misanthropic Boomer |
BULLSHIT
A Dialogue: Intended to be performed by, and for, transients such as we.
Entropy and Apathy were discussing their own perverse perceptions of each other’s relative importance (if any) to the Multiverse.
“I am the end,” proclaimed Entropy.
“Yes,” concurred Apathy, “but I am the beginning of all ends. Therefore, without me, you cease to exist.”
“And I,” proclaimed an arrogant Entropy, “am the end of all beginnings. I was before you, and will be after you,” was Entropy’s vehement declaration.
“You merely make it seem that way,” interrupted a disdainful Atrophy (who had been languishing at the back of the room). “Au contraries, you Sciolistic Sideman, you make Nothing happen....that is your problem.”
“Nobody makes Anything happen,” giggled Empathy. “And, that is the real problem. Use it, or lose it.”
“Don’t blame Anything on me,” said Nobody, defensively.
“Who let that sinister bitch in here?” screamed Apathy, glaring at Empathy (a difficult task for one so phlegmatic).
“I did,” replied Atrophy. “I thought we could use a little Balance in here.”
“Did Someone call me?” said the littlest Balance any of them had ever seen.
“No,” they all yelled at Once.
“Why is Everyone yelling at me?”
“I yell at Nobody,” said Everyone; with obvious hurt feelings.
“There, there. They didn’t mean to shout,” said Empathy sweetly.
“Why the Discordance?” asked No One In Particular.
“There is no Discordance,” replied Entropy and Apathy together (the first time they had ever agreed on Anything), to No One In Particular.
“Were you addressing me?” asked No One In Particular, entropically.
“No,” said Entropy (albeit somewhat Apathetically, and, extremely sarcastically). “We were talking to Nobody.”
“But, Nobody’s not here,” said No One In Particular; confused more than ever (a natural condition).
“That is a double negative (which as Everyone knows, is a positive),” they replied Ironically.
“I know No Such Thing,” harumphed Everyone.
“You, it is quite obvious,” said Entropy, in a manner most pedagogic, “know Nothing.”
“Yes,” yawned Everyone (for as we all know, Everyone bores quite easily). “I, like the rest of you, know Nothing. Actually, I like Nothing better.”
“Better than what?” asked Apathy; not without some disinterest.
“Huh?” said Everyone, having already lost the train of thought (as Everyone is apt to do now and then).
“Oh, never mind,” said Apathy, turning and nodding to Entropy. “See what I mean?”
“A parlour trick. A mere child’s game.” Entropy sighed and shook his head. “I expected too much of you.”
“And what is happening to you? my Entropic troglodyte. Winding down, perhaps?” sneered a completely self-satisfied Apathy.
“It is my job to wind down,” replied a tired Entropy. “Won’t be long now.”
“It never is,” replied Apathy. “I just make it seem that way.”
“Bored, Really.” Entropy yawned (too tired for even a proper segue).
“I never said I was Bored;” Really.
“Really; Bored?” questioned a very confused Apathy (which seems quite natural since many believe that is where Apathy begins).
“Not Bored: Really,” exclaimed the other.
“Now I am Confused,” said Entropy.
“No, I am Confused. And don’t you forget that; because Confusion reigns supreme.”
“This is where I came in,” laughed Atrophy.
“This has become much too Chaotic,” screamed Entropy. And he switched out the lights. “Dark in here, isn’t it Apathy?”
There was no reply.
“Empathy...Apathy...Atrophy...Anyone? Are you there?” Still there came no reply. “Oh shit, now I’ve really done it. It’s finally over. I am finally alone,” whispered Entropy.
Just then, there came a knock on the door to the Multiverse.
